Friday, September 7, 2012

What an emotional week

I have to admit that I am relieved this week is over.  I'm looking forward to the weekend, wondering if Madelyn will sleep in Saturday and want to lay around in her PJ's watching cartoons in the morning.  Seems like not long ago I did that when I was in elementary school.

Emily & I stayed busy while Madelyn was in school.  I think she enjoyed the time we had together without big sister around.  She missed her, I know - she asked a few times each day when Madelyn would be home.  She was tired just like the rest of us this week, she asked two days if she could take a nap, to which I was happy to oblige.  She loves her rests.

Madelyn had a great first week at school.  She had just a little nervous hesitation that first day waiting for the bus, but she tried hard not to show it...she proudly stood in line and got on the bus, waving at me through the window - a moment I will have fresh in my heart forever!

I'm so proud of her - my shy little girl, who wants to be every one's friend but won't shout it to the world.  She stands back and observes before she's comfortable joining the group.  For a few days, a little girl at our bus stop (who is also in Madelyn's class) was crying and quite scared.  Madelyn felt bad for her, she told me.  Madelyn offered to sit with her on the bus and even had her arms around her back, I was beaming...my little girl, helping someone - truly, from her heart.

We tried hard not to overwhelm her with questions, we wanted to know everything she did, everything she heard and saw, what the cafeteria smelled like, who she sat with on the bus...she was clearly not ready to answer!  But she opened up when I tucked her in to bed - another moment I'll keep close.  PE was her favorite thing that first day, and she loved the bus. 

The night before our big first day, Ben and I lay in bed tossing and turning.  Crying and laughing...not able to settle and go to sleep.  I decided to log on to Facebook on my phone to find a message about an unnamed classmate who's family suffered a tragic loss the previous day.  I immediately felt my stomach turning.  Later I found out it was a classmate who lost their son in an accident while their family was vacationing at a lake. 

As I learned the details of the accident, my stomach only felt worse.  All week I had a lump in my throat and I cried a lot this week.  I am devastated.  I only know this sweet little boy through the pictures his Dad posts on Facebook.  But his eyes are so beautiful, and his smile is so sunny and contagious, I feel like I've known him forever.  He is an angel, I've said it several times this week.  The pain I feel for his parents, saying goodbye to their little boy...the pain for his big brother who lost a playmate, the pain for his baby sister who may never know him.

His family has requested that donations be made in his name to his elementary school where he just started kindergarten a week earlier.  All donations are going to a playground fund...and I am filled with goosebumps to know that in just five short days, around $20,000 has been donated to lift up the life of this happy little guy.  That is awesome to me.

www.nathanchrisbaker  is the page they are putting together to tell us all of their little boy's life.  There, donations can be made through Paypal - please consider checking it out and I guarantee you'll instantly feel little Nate watching over from above.

Nate's parents put him to rest Thursday, that day I heard how brave and courageously Justin spoke of his son and it gave me some comfort knowing that part of this tragedy is behind them.  I pray for them, for the changes The Baker family will face in the future.  I pray Justin, his wife and their two beautiful children will always feel Nate with them in their hearts.  I will forever remember Nate's sweet face and will vow to love and treasure my children each and every day.